All new dads must transform thier lives when they are called into fatherhood. Discover some of the most common ways you will change when your baby comes along.
“I’m not even cold!” my daughter snapped at me, which prompted one of my famous sarcastic laughs.
It was one of those bone chilling winter days, the kind that having you shaking so hard, your teeth almost shatter!
My daughter informed me that jackets were lame, and only dorks wore them (as she stood there shaking like a leaf).
So, I was a dork because I didn’t want to vibrate down the street trying to look “cool”?
“Just stop!” she squealed back at me.
Of course, looking as if you are about to hit the first stage of hyperthermia makes you look vogue and ultra-trendy!
How could I be such a dweeb and this out of touch with what’s cool?
As hard as it was to resist, I decided to keep my jacket on and you know, not freeze my ass off!
I also had to do the dad thing, and insisted we weren’t going anywhere until my daughter went back inside and put a jacket on like a normal person.
She stomped off into the house, falsely stating she didn’t even own a jacket, because apparently I was too dumb to remember my wife buying several for her.
As I sat in my nice warm truck, it dawned on me that I was becoming like my father, who used to preach to me about zipping up my jacket when I was a teen (at least I had on a jacket back then!)
I started to feel nerdy when I looked down at my fully zipped jacket and could no longer deny that the transformation into my father was complete.
Maybe if I just half unzip it…
Ya! I’m a bad ass again!
As my daughter climbed back into the truck with a *gasp” jacket on, I couldn’t resist making a generation Z joke, and she shot back with her famous eye roll and called me a boomer (what the hell?).
Maybe I wasn’t cool anymore, but I was a dad now and it was my responsibility to help my daughter make sound choices and keep her safe on my watch.
There is no denying that fatherhood will alter your personality to some degree, but if you are determined to become a great dad, you will likely change in several ways, most specifically:
Becoming fiercely protective of your child
In the moments after my daughter was born, I didn’t feel anything towards her, and it frightened the hell out of me. I had no clue who this little alien was, and she seemed so unfamiliar.
Later that evening as I slept in the maternity room with my wife and daughter, I woke up and noticed my daughter’s swaddling blanket had come loose. She looked so helpless laying there, and that is the exact moment my paternal instincts kicked in.
I did my best to swaddle my daughter again, being extra careful not to wake my exhausted wife.
From that moment on, I knew it was my duty to keep her safe, including giving my life for her.
A dozen years later, the protective instincts I have for both of my children has grown more intense.
When you become a new father, there isn’t a certain timeline when this natural impulse will kick in, but I can assure you it is inevitable.
This type of protective instinct will be one of your best allies in helping to keep your child safe and happy, no matter what age she is!
Great fathers are selfless and willing to change for their kids
One of the first things any new dad will learn about fatherhood, is how much sacrificing it takes to care for your newborn.
Most of the things you used to enjoy in your baby free life, will now need to be put on hold.
Your life will become all about doing what is best for your child.
While I wasn’t very selfish before my daughter was born, like any guy I did have a me first attitude in a number of ways that fatherhood revealed to me.
I had to change my overall personality for the sake of my children, and it wasn’t always easy. There were many aspects of my life that I had to take a hard look at, including my temper, lack of patience and willingness to give up my time for my kids.
Ultimately, you will discover that there is no such thing as a great father who is a selfish man.
They simply don’t exist!
You just might become like your parents!
It was an odd feeling in the beginning when I caught myself echoing my parents’ scoldings with my kids.
“Shut the lights out when you leave the room, do you know how much the electric bill was last month!”
“You can’t eat Doritos for dinner!”
“I’m not your slave, get it yourself!”
Once the shoe is on the other foot, you really start to appreciate that your mom and dad weren’t uncool dumb asses trying to ruin your life. In fact, they kind of… just maybe… knew what they were talking about.
Even though my mother passed over a decade ago, I often hear her voice when I’m giving my kids some sage advice or lecturing them about misbehaving.
Becoming more like your parents, in most cases I hope, means you are just getting wiser and passing along the lessons they once taught you.
A good father grows wiser with each passing year
Not only will you draw wisdom from what your parents once taught you, but spending time in the trenches of parenthood will undoubtedly teach you numerous valuable lessons.
Over the years, I have been put in some extremely uncomfortable and at times urgent situations with my children. These experiences have reinforced my self-confidence as a father who can make good decisions under pressure and do what’s best for my kids.
I’m not even close to a perfect father, but I am leaps and bounds a better dad than I was even a few years ago.
One of the first things any new dad will learn about fatherhood, is how much sacrificing it takes to care for your newborn.
Time doesn’t necessarily make you wiser, however. Having good judgement and believing in yourself is a process of being humbled and admitting your mistakes.
You can’t grow as a father if you beat yourself up for every gaffe, and by the same token, you must be willing to admit your mistakes and learn from them.
This is the true secret to help unlock all that fatherly wisdom we all hope for!
You will become a more grateful man
There isn’t a day that goes by when I wake up and I am not thankful for my children’s health and happiness.
When you become a dad, it gets much easier to see the big picture – that the world doesn’t revolve around you, and there is something greater out there than our own selfish desires.
In turn, this shift in attitude will help you to appreciate more of the little things in life…
- Hearing your child’s laughter
- A safe trip home with your family
- Enjoying a sunset with your kids
Simply being grateful for each day with my kids has taught me to appreciate all these little things, because none of us are promised even another day with our children!
You will change into a better man!
When you put all these changes together, it means a much better version of yourself.
However, that can’t happen unless you are willing to change and become the father your child deserves.
I feel so much damn shame when I think about my personality before my daughter was born.
It didn’t take very much to set me off, and I would instantly go into a rage. It wasn’t uncommon for me to smash things or put my fist through something.
Ultimately, I took a long and hard look in the mirror and made the changes I needed to escape my violent past. I didn’t want my kids to grow up fearing me, or even worse, turn into a Frankenstein version of my hot headed old self.
If you have a volatile temper as I once did, I can tell you from experience that you can change and learn to control your inner monster for the sake of your child.
No matter what flaws or inner demons you are facing right now, please understand that to evolve into a good, loving father, you must fight to better yourself year after year!
