One of the most important moments after birth is the “golden hour”. While your partner will do all the heavy lifting, there are several ways new dads can be involved as well.
While the “golden hour” isn’t likely a clinical term you will hear in your obstetrician’s office, it has become a shift in thinking about how a mother and baby bond after birth.
Essentially, the golden hour occurs directly after birth, when mother and baby have skin to skin contact.
During this time the mother will also breastfeed for the first time.
Most experts credit French obstetrician Michel Odent with pioneering this revolution in the 1970s, as he noted the importance for immediate bonding between mother and child.
As a new dad, you won’t be directly involved during this time, but there are some important things you can do to lend your partner a helping hand.
I will touch on some of these tips later, but let’s first take a look at why the golden hour is so important for your newborn.
Your baby’s scary new world
To get an idea of what your baby will be going through when she is born, imagine if Godzilla ripped you out of your cozy bed at 3 AM and threw you buck naked into the snow of some foreign land!
Maybe your obstetrician isn’t as ugly as Godzilla and has better breath (hopefully!), but the point remains, being taken from a place of great comfort and being tossed naked into a cold and unfamiliar environment is upsetting as hell!
This is why the golden hour is so important for your newborn.
She has just been ripped from the only world she knows, and now it is your partner’s job to keep her warm and feeling protected.
This insta-bonding helps show your baby that she is being protected and cared for in this crazy new environment!
The benefits of the golden hour
Research has shown that there are great advantages of skin to skin contact directly after birth for a newborn, but this bonding time can also be quite beneficial for the mother as well.
For a newborn, skin to skin contact can help regulate his body temperature and control his breathing, which is essential for a baby to thrive.
This type of close bonding also makes it more likely that your newborn will breastfeed naturally, as babies are more likely to latch onto the breast this way.
To get an idea of what your baby will be going through when she is born, imagine if Godzilla ripped you out of your cozy bed at 3 AM and threw you buck naked into the snow of some foreign land!
For your partner, not only does she begin to form that instant connection with your baby, but by initiating breastfeeding so quickly after giving birth, she is more likely to deliver her placenta in a timely fashion, reducing the risk of postpartum hemorrhage.
Ultimately, there are many benefits to the golden hour, which is why this practice is now highly encouraged by both the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Most hospitals today will prioritize keeping newborn and mother together but be proactive and double check if this is the policy at your chosen hospital.
What is a new dad’s role in all of this?
As a new pops, your role during the golden hour is to just chill out as best you can and enjoy watching nature take its course.
When my daughter was born, my wife was left alone during the golden hour to bond with my daughter, and I quietly stepped out to grab a bite to eat.
What? I was starving!
I was about to fall over because I had not eaten in almost 24 hours, so I needed a little me time!
However, after my son’s birth things got a little more complicated and I had to step up and be an adversary for my wife.
Ultimately, births are like snowflakes and no two are exactly alike. What each new dad does during the golden hour will depend on both circumstances and the desires of his partner.
With that in mind, let’s go over a few helpful things you can do for your partner during this time:
- Stick up for her – situations may arise when you must stand your ground and do what you feel is best for your partner. Be it with a pushy nurse or trying to move your partner to another room before she’s ready, don’t be afraid to speak up in your partner’s best interests.
- Take pictures – I know my wife would have killed me if I took pictures of her right after giving birth, but some women would love to have this special moment captured forever. Just make sure you understand your partner’s wishes before snapping any photos, if you like breathing and all!
- Be her willing servant – when my wife was breastfeeding my son for the first time, she begged me to get her some ice cubes for her dry mouth. She also needed me to grab a couple delivery blankets that she couldn’t reach.
Basically, do whatever she needs from you!
- Be the messenger of good news – your loved ones are going to be nervously waiting to hear when the baby was born. Take this time to pass on the good news and bathe in all the glory!
- Be a skin daddy – if your partner has a difficult delivery and is unable to do skin to skin contact, you need to step up and take her place. Obviously you can’t breastfeed (duh), but you can certainly do skin to skin with your newborn and provide many of the same benefits your partner could.
As you can see, your role during the golden hour, and well after, really isn’t going to be that complicated. Just be there for your partner and help as best you can.
Some first-time dads may feel left out during this time, but that’s simply because they have no idea what’s coming!
Believe me when I tell you, there is going to be plenty of ways for you to both bond and help with your child – for like the next 50 years actually!
If all goes well during the birth, my best advice is for you to enjoy the moment and catch your breath.
Not every couple is lucky enough to have a healthy baby, so be sure to take time to reflect on your good fortune!
