When you have a newborn, deciding to circumcise or not can be one of the most difficult decisions any new father can make. Unfortunately, this fateful choice can fill you with overwhelming guilt and anxiety, especially in the operating room!
What the hell was happening to me?
I felt a massive surge of heat pulsating through my body, like someone had just thrown me into a dryer and spun me on the highest setting. My body wasn’t prepared for this type of insta-sweat (ya that’s a real word) and the operating room transformed into a bizarre kaleidoscope, forcing me to blindly stumble around and reach for a chair.
Was this a… panic attack?
I whispered to myself, “Please don’t go full Tony Soprano, dude!”
Yet it was undeniable that I was having an all-out panic attack for the first time in my life and was on the verge of passing out.
I was witnessing the gruesome sight of my son’s circumcision, and I couldn’t unsee it. Even more troublesome was the reality that I was complicit in this unholy snip!
I was no longer a father, I was an ogre, but not the cool kind like Shrek.
Hell no, I was the kind of monster that agreed to this maiming of my son and deserved to have my own penis….
Whoa, slow your roll there big fella!
I was now officially the mayor of Krazytown and wanted to scream at the surgeon to stop mutilating my son.
A nurse must have noticed my ashen face and asked me if I was ok, jolting me back into reality. I had to play the tough guy as my wife was already worried about my son, but her attention was now drawn to my um, episode. I immediately waved off their concern and tried to go to my happy place as the surgeon finished up with my son.
Let me be straight with you my friend, no matter how tough you think you are, watching your son lose part of his penis is traumatizing! Knowing you helped make that decision and the irreversible imagery of it happening to your own member, will dredge up powerful emotions that will smack you in the head like a claw hammer.
Is Circumcision Necessary Anymore?
Circumcision has become a hotly debated topic and much like vaccines, it becomes a very personal choice that you must make for your child, but very well may pit you against your partner.
Ultimately, the choice to have your newborn son snipped or not, will be one of the most wrenching and difficult decisions you must make as a new father. Nothing really prepares you for the kind of permanent choice that will forever alter your son’s body, and best of all you don’t even get to consult with him about it.
Lucky you, right?
Welcome to the trenches of fatherhood, where the meek need not apply!
I will tell you straight out that I was vehemently against having my son circumcised, but it was something that my wife strongly believed in. This created a great deal of tension between us when my wife pushed the issue, and our greatest strength as a couple (our ability to compromise), was now being tested like never before.
In fact, I got so angry at her during one of our heated discussions about circumcisions, I threw a poison dart right at her soul and exclaimed “why would you care when you don’t have a penis!”
The issue had me so upset it sent me back to being 15 years old again!
I realized at that point as my wife shot me “the look”, it was time to fight back intelligently and do what I knew best – research.
My intention was to dig up enough evidence to prove to my wife that circumcisions are bad and that she was frankly out of her mind on this issue. However, while I was hoping to prove my wife wrong, I discovered some interesting things during my investigation.
I was a little shocked to learn that more than 60-65% of US newborn males undergo circumcision every year, making it more of a common practice than I had believed. However, some parents have the procedure done for religious reasons, while others (like my wife and me), opt for it due to medical reasons.
During my research I discovered several cons to getting my son snipped, including the pain it would cause him, as well as a small risk of complications after the surgery. There is also a belief that the removal of a man’s foreskin can affect sexual pleasure (several studies do dispute this).
However, what kept nagging at me was the thought of removing a part of my son’s body without his permission. That alone was the reason I was standing my ground against my wife, and I felt quite strongly this was a violation of his body that we needed to be respectful of.
I wanted to be fair about this process though, and after further research, I was swayed to allow my son to get circumcised because there was evidence that the procedure helps reduce the risk of urinary tract infections in babies, and later in life, sexually transmitted diseases.
What truly convinced me though, was the fact that being snipped would greatly reduce my son’s chances for penile cancer. Months before I had to make this critical decision, I had learned from my neighbor that his father had penile cancer and sadly had to have a part of his penis removed. Unfortunately, he suffered greatly, and eventually died anyway.
Recalling the anguish on my neighbor’s face as he spoke of his father’s nightmare with penile cancer, I knew that I couldn’t live with myself if that kind of tragedy befell my son and I could have prevented it.
I reasoned that taking a small part of my son’s penis now, could one day prevent him from possibly having to lose even more of it to cancer, and the agony he would have to endure.
To this day I can’t honestly tell you I am sure that I made the right decision, but I am at peace with it. I did what I felt was best for my son to keep him safe, and that is ultimately all a father can do when faced with such a difficult decision!
