Having a baby can put some serious stress on your finances, but there are ways to help empower yourself and deftly navigate the vile underbelly of the baby product industry.
I felt a massive flush of embarrassment wash over me as all the other guys in the room were busy jotting something down.
My wife gave me an odd stare and motioned towards my blank piece of paper.
I gave her a silent wave off and tried to make a confident face like I was ok.
However, I wasn’t ok – in fact I was a mess inside!
We were at a pain management class for my wife’s first pregnancy, and the instructor had just asked everyone to write down a few things that scared us the most about having a baby.
I had more fears than I could even begin to wrap my head around, but what filled me with dread at night was our finances.
How were we going to afford to have a baby when we were barely able to save for a new house?
I didn’t want to be stuck in our tiny one-bedroom apartment forever, and I was concerned about losing the little disposable income we had each month to enjoy ourselves.
In the weeks leading up to this class, we had gone crib shopping and I became traumatized after seeing one extravagant price after the other.
Who knew you needed financing just to buy a damn baby crib!
I had suggested to my wife that our baby could just sleep in a drawer, but she wasn’t amused. I was only joking… sort of.
It wasn’t just the crib scam either that was giving me an ulcer. What about the excessive cost of baby clothes, and then there was all the diapers we had to buy, and formula was outrageous!
What about health insurance and the cost of…
Just breathe!!!
I was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions that almost brought me to my knees on multiple occasions, and the cost of having a baby was front and center among my crippling anxiety.
As each expectant dad read his fears to the pain management group, almost to a man, they all mentioned finances.
It wasn’t just me! Except, that didn’t make me feel any better.
When it was my turn, I simply said with a cool touch, “there isn’t much I’m worried about”.
Liar!
I looked over at my wife and she rolled her eyes.
I felt like a fool, but during the car ride home I confessed all my fears to my wife, and it was like getting a ten-ton anvil off my chest.
My wife had the same concerns about the cost of raising a baby, but with my fears now out in the open about the financial side of things, we were able to work together and find solutions.
We mutually decided it was time to be proactive and start empowering ourselves.
The first thing we discovered is that…
You must set a baby budget and stick to it!
We didn’t want to live in fear anymore of what this whole baby thing was going to cost, and setting a strict budget helped give us back control over the situation.
Just looking at the numbers and knowing we could pull things off, helped me sleep a little easier at night.
That’s why I would strongly encourage you and your partner to set a budget before you buy a single baby item.
It will be your greatest adversary against the loathsome baby product industry that preys on new parents.
The marketing behind these products will play on your fears and inadequacies, then suck your bank account dry if you don’t have a battle plan against it.
If you take any advice from me today, remember that you will only need a fraction of what this industry will push on you.
I would like to brag about how my wife and I got things right with our first child, but our baby budget was missing important input from experienced parents. While it did save us from wasting a lot of money, we were missing crucial information that only veteran parents could provide.
That is why you absolutely must speak to friends and relatives with young kids to solicit advice on everything you will need.
Most importantly of all, ask yourself if you really need a baby product before you waste money on it.
Ask their opinions on the best products, what they feel are absolute necessities, and what to avoid wasting money on.
Ultimately, nothing beats experience in this situation.
You will discover that the longer you are a parent, the more you will catch onto the baby product racket.
By the time our second child was born my wife and I become much savvier about the horrors of this money draining underworld.
We learned not to spend much money on newborn clothes because our child would quickly grow out of them, that we actually didn’t need an expensive crib (a playyard was more than adequate), and only buying essential products was necessary.
That means you don’t have to buy that $75 diaper bag when your old backpack will do the same trick!
Most importantly of all, ask yourself if you really need a baby product before you waste money on it.
This strategy will help to hold you accountable and keep the baby product manufacturers from digging deep into your pockets!
There is help out there for struggling parents
If you set your budget and are starting to sweat it out because you don’t think you can make ends meet with a new baby, please know that there is a lot of help out there.
You just need to know where to look.
Free Diapers
The cost of keep your child in diapers is going to make you rage, but if your income is low enough, there are programs out there that can provide free and affordable diapers.
Just check out the National Diaper Bank Network for help in your area:
Click here to find out more about free diapers in your area
Food Stamps
I remember as a child we had to live off food stamps for a while when my father’s teacher union went on strike.
Without this program, we would have gone to bed hungry on many nights during that time.
If you are struggling financially, please apply for help with your local SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) by visiting:
https://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/supplemental-nutrition-assistance-program
Please keep in mind that you can use SNAP to purchase both baby formula and baby food.
Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP)
It is essential that you keep your newborn warm in the winter and cool in the summer, as your baby will have trouble regulating her body temperature well.
If you can’t keep up with your utility bills, look into how LIHEAP can help.
LIHEAP is a low-income program available in all 50 states, and if you qualify, they will offer assistance in paying your home energy bills.
I would encourage you to apply at:
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/ocs/programs/liheap
Medicaid and CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program)
Depending on your income, you may qualify for either Medicaid or CHIP.
These programs will help cover many of your child’s medical expense, and in many states will cover your partner during her pregnancy.
Even if you don’t qualify for Medicaid, be sure to apply for CHIP, as the income level cutoffs are higher.
Free Car Seats
One of the most important baby products you will invest in, will be a car seat.
This is not an area you want to skimp on because your baby’s life could very well depend on it.
Try to avoid buying used car seats, as they may be outdated or even have been compromised in an accident already.
If you can’t afford a new car seat, there is help available through many local and state-run programs, as well as other charity organizations.
In some cases, to qualify for a free car seat if your income is low enough, you may be required to take car safety classes.
However, this is a good thing, and a loving father is an expert in car seat safety.
To find out where you can score a free car seat in your state please visit:
Ask friends and family for their used baby items
Have you ever heard that song “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg” by TLC?
That should become your new motto with friends and family who have older babies or toddlers.
These people will have a treasure trove of baby products that will save you thousands of dollars over the years.
By my estimate, my wife and I saved at least $5-6 thousand just in the free baby/toddler clothes we scored from everyone.
In fact, our friends and family were happy to get these items out of their house and declutter.
Best of all, we got to give a big middle finger to the baby clothes mafia that wanted to scam us out of our hard-earned money.
So, it was a big win for everyone!
If you really want to save a boatload of money, pester everyone you know for their used baby products.
Even if they are still using them! Kidding… but hey it doesn’t hurt to ask!
Don’t be afraid to get on your knees and beg, because the savings will add up to massive coins in your pocket over time.
Working that baby budget and sacrificing
Very few normal couples, you know, those of us not born fabulously wealthy, are ever totally ready financially to have a baby.
In most cases, you must learn to budget well and make sacrifices to be able to afford to keep your baby happy and healthy.
Sure, maybe my wife and I lived mostly on Dairy Queen and Ramen noodles for a week to help pay off that expensive crib we got our daughter, but we made it work.
I’m not telling you things will be easy, but just like us, you and your partner will find a way for the sake of your baby.
You will be shocked how much money you can save when you really start tracking it, and even if you don’t have much to begin with, knowledge and research will be your best ally for finding help!
