A good father will play many roles in his child’s life, but to master fatherhood, you must embrace these six roles above all.
Do you know the number one thing that scares the hell out of first-time dads?
Responsibility.
Deep down, most guys want to live a carefree life without any commitments, but that’s a dirty little secret we only admit to the buddies we trust the most!
Obligations bring sacrifice and that can put bone chilling fear into any man.
As men, we all have a selfish side we must learn to balance with the responsibilities that fatherhood can bring.
Any dad that tells you finding this harmony will be easy, is full of shit.
Once you become a dad, there will be many days when you will silently wish for that carefree life, void of the pressures of responsibility and failure.
So, let’s get it out in the open – fatherhood is one of the ultimate challenges that we can’t afford to bomb, because when you blow it, it can ruin your child’s life.
No pressure, right?
All men are terrified of failure, and this is the exact reason so many new dads will run away from the responsibilities of fatherhood.
However, if you want to be a great dad, you must enter into a silent pact to take on the many roles of a father.
There won’t be a secret blood pact ceremony with creepy figures wearing hoods and robes, just a promise you make with yourself when your child is born.
To fulfil this oath and be the father your child deserves, you will have to wear many hats, including being a provider, counselor, protector and all-around hero!
The many roles of fatherhood
When you raise a child, the ultimate goal is for your son or daughter to become a happy, well-adjusted member of society.
Simply put, you don’t want your kid to turn out to be an asshole!
It’s well known that a child with a father in his life stands a better chance of growing into a productive adult, than a fatherless one.
All men are terrified of failure, and this is the exact reason so many new dads will run away from the responsibilities of fatherhood.
This is why your presence is crucial, and understanding your part in helping your child develop is an absolute must for any father.
Therefore, let’s take a look at some of the most important roles you will be taking on as a new dad:
- Protector – ensuring that your child is safe starts long before he is even born. A good dad will be an expert on baby car seats, including having the seat installed and inspected by a qualified technician (I go into great detail about this in my book Raising Daddy).
As your baby becomes mobile, you must master the art of babyproofing your home.
When your child grows older, you will have the unenviable task of trying to keep her safe from the bullies and predators of the world.
This will include walking the fine line between being your child’s advocate against bullies and understanding when to back off and let her handle business on her own.
You will also have to teach your child about making common sense decisions and not leaving herself vulnerable to the predators that give all parents nightmares and sleepless nights. - Counselor – one of my greatest roles as a father is being a confidant for my children.
They know they can come to me with any problem, and I will listen and try to offer sound advice.
Many times, your child will just want someone who will listen to their problems and not offer judgement or advice.
However being a confidant isn’t always easy, and hearing your child’s problems will take a toll on you, trust me. In the end, building this kind of trust with my kids creates a magical bond that I wouldn’t trade for anything! - Disciplinarian – this will be one of your hardest roles to take on, but a good dad learns how to put his guilt aside and bring the hammer of justice down when warranted.
Naturally, if you have a close bond with your child, she will make you feel like a complete ogre when you dole out punishments. However, without discipline, your child will never learn about accountability.
My daughter is especially skilled at triggering my guilty conscience when I punish her, but I’ve learned how to compartmentalize my love for her, with my duty as a father to teach her right from wrong.
The key here is to trust your instincts and always follow through on threats of punishment! - Provider – your child will need the basics from you, like food, clothing and shelter. Every father has his own unique financial picture, but we must do our best to provide the necessities for our children.
- A sage – to raise a child well, we need to pass on a set of morals that he needs to live by.
Each dad will have his own unique values he will prefer to teach his kid, but I think it’s safe to say that most good fathers will teach their children not to lie, cheat, or steal.
Most importantly of all, to treat others with respect, no matter our differences.
While all these roles are an important part of being good father, there is one part you must play that rises above them all.
Can you guess what it is?
Being a hero!
Oddly enough, this may be the hardest role for most fathers to accept.
It isn’t easy being someone’s hero, most especially your child’s hero.
I know all my faults and weaknesses, so it feels awkward when my children look up to me as a god like figure that is all knowing and infallible.
However, I am quick to remind them that I am far from perfect, and that just because I believe something, that doesn’t necessarily make it law.
Despite that, I know my kids look to me as a hero and someone they want to emulate.
So I have taken on this role, because I don’t want them looking up to some athlete or other celebrity that may not share my values.
This is exactly why Charles Barkley famously said, “I am not a role model!”
It was a very controversial quote at the time, but he was absolutely right!
His message was that parents should be a child’s role models and heroes, not him.
Ultimately, a father must understand that his child will follow his lead and act as he does. This can be a burden or a great opportunity, depending on your willingness to man up and be your child’s hero.
Taking on all the roles of a father does make you a type of superhero, but not all heroes have to dress up in really bad skintight outfits and wear stupid looking capes!
