Discover what kind of sacrifices are really necessary to become a great father.
I know this will sound crazy, but my daughter and an old hockey stick have been intertwined since the day she was born.
What does this stick have to do with my daughter?
Allow me to try and explain in my own weird ass way!
The day before my daughter was born, my fully pregnant wife and I stopped in a Hockey Life store to browse around.
As hockey was in my blood since I was a kid, I couldn’t help but find something I wanted to buy, even though I didn’t really need anything.
A new Sherwood hockey stick caught my eye, and after testing it out in the shooting cage, I knew we were meant for each other.
My wife rolled her eyes when she saw me buying the stick, but I only had 6-7 at home and really needed this one!
I was stoked to get out on the ice and try out my new twig, but my daughter had other plans and was born the following afternoon.
As I quickly found out, there was no time for hockey anymore, and I learned my first lesson about the necessary sacrifices of fatherhood.
While I did eventually get back on the ice and start playing again about a year later, my Sherwood stick never touched the ice.
There was something sentimental about that stick and I didn’t want to break it in a game.
The Sherwood now sits in my garage as a memento of my transition into fatherhood.
It is tangible evidence of the man I used to be, and who I have become as a father.
Pursuing your passions as a father
One universal fear all guys have about fatherhood, is having to finally grow up and take on the responsibility of another life.
It is heavy stuff, and countless men have run away from this kind of lifetime commitment.
I have known several acquaintances who became deadbeat dads, and they all echoed the same selfish “what about me” attitude.
This is why good fathers are so revered – because they man up and make their lives about more than just themselves.
Fatherhood isn’t about giving up who you are, it’s about finding a healthy balance between your carefree childless days, and the responsibilities of a parent.
How much you must give up as a new father is going to be dependent on your passions and hobbies.
For me, I had stopped playing competitive hockey well before my daughter was born, so I was able to drop down to playing once a week, and that worked well for my new lifestyle.
If you have time consuming hobbies and passions, you very well may have to make some tough decisions as I did.
Full disclosure here – I have a few friends with kids who haven’t altered their lives very much, but the tradeoff is they have pushed most of the child rearing duties onto their wives.
Now, I know for a fact the wife of one of these friends is quite angry and resentful about her situation.
Obviously, my buddy doesn’t subscribe to the “happy wife, happy life” motto!
I’m not going to pretend to know what your partner is like, but I highly suspect she will want you to share the responsibilities of raising your child.
Maybe you will be a one in a million lucky dog, and your wife or girlfriend will tell you to go do your thing, and she’s got all this baby stuff, but chances are that isn’t gonna happen my man.
So, let’s get all crazy here and assume your partner believes you should have equal responsibilities for your child!
Fatherhood means sacrificing
Unless you know a spell to multiply yourself, having a baby means you will be presented with the age-old dilemma of opportunity cost.
After my daughter was born, I couldn’t be on the ice doing a cele after a beauty goal and taking care of her at the same time.
I had to choose one over the other.
For me, it was an easy decision, and I wanted to be there for my newborn daughter. I prioritized what was most important in my life, and frankly that was my child.
One universal fear all guys have about fatherhood, is having to finally grow up and take on the responsibility of another life.
I understand this will be a much more difficult decision for other guys, as I currently have a cousin with a newborn and he’s really struggling to adjust to his new life.
In an even more dramatic situation, the husband of my wife’s friend left her shortly after their baby was born.
This dude couldn’t adjust to the baby life and was constantly angry he couldn’t go clubbing with his wife anymore. Like a scumbag, he started running around with other women and that was the end of the marriage.
My wife’s friend got custody of their son, but her ex didn’t want much to do with their child anyway, sadly.
I wish I could say this story is an outlier, but there are a lot of selfish guys that get women pregnant and are unwilling to take on their obligations as fathers.
Fatherhood isn’t easy man, and it requires a lot of sacrifices to be a great dad.
That’s just the reality of it.
As always, I give it to you straight and don’t BS my readers.
It honestly serves no purpose to lie to you and pretend that fatherhood isn’t a big change for new dads.
Some more real talk – in my humble opinion only cowards run away from their duties as fathers, and the real men step up.
Yes, fatherhood requires many sacrifices, but it also showers you with great rewards.
In fact, my passion for hockey has now been passed onto my daughter, who just made the AA team for her organization this past spring.
So not only did I not have to give up my love for hockey entirely, but I was also able to use my passion for the game to bond with my daughter.
That my friend, is getting to have your cake and eat it to!
